tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post3465492958905751399..comments2023-12-02T09:37:08.472-05:00Comments on Autism Jabberwocky: StimmingM.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/12033918835169823548noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-3335220753374296932017-02-03T12:08:55.676-05:002017-02-03T12:08:55.676-05:00I would side with M.J. here. Saying that his respo...I would side with M.J. here. Saying that his response was "pretty harsh" is a cop out in my opinion unless you propose alternate verbiage that conveys the same message. M.J. has done a fantastic job of clearly laying out his argument and supporting statements.<br /><br />Your first sentence insists that "being a parent of a child with autism doesn't make you an expert" (which the author has now repeated pointed out he is not claiming to be). Then your second sentence makes a claim and then you go on to back this up, not with an explanation on why your alternative view is right, but insteadby rely on the same crutch that you accuse the author using. "My son stims....My son grew up and talks about autism" So maybe you are deferring your expertise to him. This is also a logical fallacy because neither of you are experts per credentials listed in your post (and the list of qualifiers to give a non-fallacious argument as an expert opinion are hard to meet).<br /><br />If I know how to ride a bicycle, I can tell you how it feels. I cannot necessarily tell you the forces that allow me to balance, where biking is legal, and what are accidents that have historically have been caused by biking. That doesn't meant that I can't it just means you can't take me at my word that I am aware of the full context simply because I have experienced it. Please support your argument with an analysis of what you believe like the author has rather than exclusively considering the emotional impact on the child from their perspective when a parent prevent or tries to redirect stimming. What are the other factors at play? How are THEY impacted? What is a compromise to optimize the outcome from all perspectives?<br /><br />As a child without autism (who has now grown up and talks about his experience), I can tell you that I was unappreciative of what my parents went out of their way to do because they felt it was in my best interest. Human animals are like this, they develop from their nascent stage having to actively learn that the world continues to exist when they stop paying attention and that other people have a separate perspective from our own. I think this biases possibly everyone strongly to go through a period of devote self-centrism. It took me a lot of non-self-centric thinking to come to the conclusion that my memories from when I was self-centric were likely biased by my perspective and that I should reconsider a reinterpretation of what was happening.<br /><br />I'm not saying that any parent who tries to stop or redirect stimming is doing it in an optimal way and only has altruistic intentions. There are certainly different emotional impacts in every approach. The point is that the emotional impact can't be the only impact you consider. I guess I am also trying to say "I love you Mom! Thank you for every thing you did for me even when I doubted your intentions!"Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05436357789901612719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-64444739760244690562016-04-29T18:06:28.783-04:002016-04-29T18:06:28.783-04:00Every person on the autism spectrum is an individu...Every person on the autism spectrum is an individuals. Being a parent of a child with autism doesn't make you an expert either and your reply was pretty harsh towards someone on the autism spectrum. My son stims, he had ABA as a child and they tried to control the stimming. He still sims it was impossible to stop and he is now being considered for Tourettes. As parents we need some humility and those adults on the spectrum can tell us so much. My son grew up and talks about autism and I have learnt so much and yes we got so much wrong.learningtobeonmyownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16268252938096875231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-16645779037175116532016-03-31T13:02:43.805-04:002016-03-31T13:02:43.805-04:00I'm happy information like this is out there. ...I'm happy information like this is out there. It's disappointing to see most google results only show pro stim information that doesn't state the entire truth. <br /><br />I have ADD and while I am not autistic, I stim to the point where it's controlled my life. Stimming has controlled my life to the point where it is practically an addiction and I have wasted my childhood and teen years stimming. I am now in college and struggle greatly, I have failed two semesters and am on my possibly last semester. It stresses me to think of stopping stimming but I wish to stop though at this point I will need professional help. <br /><br />If I could change anything about my teen years it would be that I wish I/or my parents sought professional help sooner and that my stimming would've be brought under control. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-85425883226642852542016-01-05T04:51:20.742-05:002016-01-05T04:51:20.742-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Comforterinsight.comhttp://comforterinsight.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-5959725777547829532015-08-19T02:09:07.011-04:002015-08-19T02:09:07.011-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.raezurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03503024404369391357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-24364109338551348012015-05-04T01:48:48.894-04:002015-05-04T01:48:48.894-04:00I really enjoyed your article. You know a good dea...I really enjoyed your article. You know a good deal of research on self stimulatory behaviors. I hope you take into consideration the fact that changing a behavior, especially one used for coping or anxiety, can be very harmful Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-91131763532367866532015-02-25T23:22:18.825-05:002015-02-25T23:22:18.825-05:00EXCELLENT information here!! I have a son with aut...EXCELLENT information here!! I have a son with autism who rarely stims anymore and now I have a client who stims himself into a tizzy and cannot calm back down to safely go on with his day ... as a worker I am required to interrupt most of his stims because he can not learn while stimming and he would spend all day flicking and rocking and making sounds<br />When he stims are interruprted he learns and works incredibly well!!<br />Thanks for this fantastic article!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-22224712059195170022015-01-22T22:14:56.602-05:002015-01-22T22:14:56.602-05:00IMO when stimming becomes dangerous the best respo...IMO when stimming becomes dangerous the best response is to suggest an alternative stim that doesn't harm themselves or anyone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-15456195400188534102014-10-03T19:10:47.633-04:002014-10-03T19:10:47.633-04:00Marly, I have always welcomed discussion here and ...Marly, I have always welcomed discussion here and allowed anyone to express their opinion as long as they were at least civil. You blew past that line on your very first comment.<br /><br />If you want to have an "adult" discussion then I suggest you start acting the part. If you act like a child then you should expect to be treated like a child. <br /><br />Now go away.M.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12033918835169823548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-55225112495332436832014-10-03T18:54:42.699-04:002014-10-03T18:54:42.699-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Marlyhttp://autistic-goat.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-87113072317739176202014-10-03T18:51:03.031-04:002014-10-03T18:51:03.031-04:00Marly, what part of go troll somewhere else was un...Marly, what part of go troll somewhere else was unclear to you? M.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12033918835169823548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-50036889241425397562014-10-03T18:32:44.011-04:002014-10-03T18:32:44.011-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Marlyhttp://autistic-goat.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-72625684956464509822014-10-03T17:34:39.395-04:002014-10-03T17:34:39.395-04:00Anonymous,
Sorry but I strongly disagree with you...Anonymous,<br /><br />Sorry but I strongly disagree with your "fact". Simply having autism does not automatically make you an expert about autism. At best it might make you an expert on your particular symptoms but even then almost everybody - with or without autism - is pretty terrible at understanding their own actions. On the flip side autism most certainly does impair your ability to understand other people and why they act a certain way.<br /><br />And to be honest, after dealing with people like Marly for years upon years, I am of the opinion that the vast majority of people who identify themselves as having autism online and takes the opinion takes the opinion that they understand a child's autism better than the child's parent is completely full of it. At best they are simply clueless while at worst they are out trolling.<br />M.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12033918835169823548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-81730946004778759042014-10-03T17:23:01.771-04:002014-10-03T17:23:01.771-04:00Marly, take your hostility and recruiting drive el...Marly, take your hostility and recruiting drive elsewhere.M.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12033918835169823548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-20802242054630268052014-10-03T17:10:51.259-04:002014-10-03T17:10:51.259-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Marlyhttp://autistic-goat.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-72124436667028513892014-10-02T03:58:30.473-04:002014-10-02T03:58:30.473-04:00Im sorry but that last statement is wrong. Maybe ,...Im sorry but that last statement is wrong. Maybe , you should listen to people with Autism instead of taken offence. They are the experts because they have it and that is a fact you cant argue with. Its up to a parent to decide whay best for their child and I however happen to disagree but I look at things from a different perspective maybe. How ever, I would always take intp account the advice from some one who has Autism as they are the closest to my child than any parent, scientist etc. PippaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-56645044894108037892014-08-13T19:18:04.812-04:002014-08-13T19:18:04.812-04:00So, Anonymous, did you you actually read the post ...So, Anonymous, did you you actually read the post or just did you just stop by to recite tired myths about autism? You clearly missed that I was not recommending stopping stimming just for the sake of stopping stimming. <br /><br />I'm guessing from what you wrote that you have some mommy and daddy issues that you need to deal with and that's the real problem here. Now, this is just a suggestion, but if your parents tell you that they love you then you should take that at face value. You may think that is is all about what you went through but I can tell you from first hand experience that it isn't easy being the parent either. <br /><br />Parents, such as myself, spend more time than you can possibly imagine trying to understand how the world looks through our children's eyes. We literally spend years upon years upon years trying to work out what is going on in our children's world.<br /><br />So maybe instead of shouting at the world that it is all about what you think and feel about autism how about taking a step back and recognizing that it's not all about what you think. Having autism does not make you an expert on autism.M.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12033918835169823548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-48399894072244978142014-08-12T15:32:49.317-04:002014-08-12T15:32:49.317-04:00My word, I was raised by parents like you. I'm...My word, I was raised by parents like you. I'm autistic let me tell you something. It ruined me. I felt unloved, uncared for. No matter how much my mother tells me otherwise. When you force an autistic kid to do something forcefully you become a bully to your own child. As my own parents did to me. It stopped my stimming sure. For a period at least, but I still stim without realising it until others point it out. If it's not harmful to us or anyone else leave it be will you. You could create a self loathing child ! Not sure if you ever thought of it that way. Autism runs in my family. My Nephew is the same as myself. Let me tell you the only person who can calm him down without force is myself. Try and see things through our eyes before trying to control us. <br /><br />You are quite right there is reasons for our behaviours, when you force us to stop it creates more of an overload. When my mother would force me to stop, I could not handle what I was already handling my way!<br /><br />Instead of holding you child, step back to avoid being hit. And try and provide the soothing or what ever other distraction you can for your child. Instead.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-84850631314230816202014-04-15T14:05:45.430-04:002014-04-15T14:05:45.430-04:00Thought out and well written - thanks for getting ...Thought out and well written - thanks for getting the word out. Bonus points for "a lack of understanding of what others are thinking or experiencing is a large part of the disorder that they are struggling with." Although I must point out they are not, apparently, struggling with any impairment from the disorder itself, rather they are struggling with the social construct of the disorder.<br /><br />I hold the APA, and their ill-considered DSM revisions, responsible for this muddle, and hope they correct things asap - the "diversity" folks have good points, but they do not apply to everyone with ASD. I'm also really tired of the latest iteration of "blame the mom" - "my cousin used the bat guano intervention and her kid just entered Harvard" or "I just read a study..." followed with "you need to try [fill in the blank] and your son will stop [fill in the blank]." Feh.VMGillenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02923257331456662158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-58441710737171639752013-09-21T10:23:33.747-04:002013-09-21T10:23:33.747-04:00Thank you for this. It is so well written. I am ve...Thank you for this. It is so well written. I am very tired of the Neuro crowd and the complete idiotic parents in denial claiming that stimming and being autistic is just another way of "being." Give me a f'ing break! When will these people accept the fact that this is actual brain damage and we have to help these children from a biological and behavioral standpoint. Individuals like Ari N and mothers such as Jean W from Stimeyland and Jessica Wilson of Diary of a Mom are complete and utter assholes. Stimeyland adds to the nonsense by claiming she is now autistic, diagnosed somewhere in her 30's or 40's. These people seem to think autism is wonderful. Clearly they are not dealing with severe autism and are simply annoying mouth pieces who confuse the situation even more. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-68190139801472092452013-08-23T04:26:08.031-04:002013-08-23T04:26:08.031-04:00A very thoughtful post. Probably the most comprehe...A very thoughtful post. Probably the most comprehensive and balanced approach to stimming that I have ever read (despite you admitting to not being able to cover all of the numerous and interrelated factors at play in stimming). Thank you for writing this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-51573990531429129192013-08-18T20:38:41.490-04:002013-08-18T20:38:41.490-04:00Oops had a thought... what I meant with the brain ...Oops had a thought... what I meant with the brain damaged is that I am certain there are some significant breaks in the wiring in my kid's head that control expressive language and I'd love an MRI. Right now I'm at nearly 3 mths and counting for an EEG... gotta love public health care... I may never get the MRI... seriously, they may refuse to do it.<br /><br />I know, it's broken and that's what brain damage is... so I wasn't surprised when I read the article. I have it saved somewhere....farmwifetwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02680758336779501712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1892134081049774386.post-70591405137634856772013-08-18T20:08:15.672-04:002013-08-18T20:08:15.672-04:00From what I read long ago, those with brain damage...From what I read long ago, those with brain damage stim... go figure.<br /><br />My views on it are this:<br /><br />The hand wringing has severely damaged 2 fingers and mildly damaged one figure on his left hand... blame it all on ABA but that's another story... Not good and I stop it when I can. With puberty has come hand biting and it's stopped immediately. When he does that he's lost control and needs help to regain it.<br /><br />Excited, laughing and flapping... I let it go for a moment or 2 and then hold his hands lightly in his lap or just in mine until he calms. I too don't like to be hit and he's nearly as tall as I am.<br /><br />Floor humping... not appropriate and he gets told to sit properly and does.<br /><br />Vocal noises (noise/sounds, to chatting, to singing)... as long as they are "inside voice" I let it go. When it rises and he's obviously overwhelmed I go and get him to sit and calm.<br /><br />Am I embarrassed... no. But behaviour has to be "appropriate" in place and time and should not harm him or someone else.<br /><br />When he stims in a quiet manner - the singing - he is usually working, drawing, playing etc something and I know he's thinking and I leave him alone. For some reason, it calms his thoughts and he does amazing graphics on his DSi, slide shows, video's on the iPad, plays with his toys, does his school and homeschool easier etc Any other and he can't think and function... so the excessive stims need to be controlled so he can think.farmwifetwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02680758336779501712noreply@blogger.com